I love this quote....

"Now and then we had hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates."
Mark Twain

My heart is aching
I have so many ideas, emotions....thoughts in my head and I can't get them out
I am at the edge of a cliff
Ready to jump
But my body will not move
I know that only I can conquer this
I know that only I can make the changes in my life that need to be made
I am so scared
I am willing to put these thoughts on paper
But why not my story
Did you know that I have a story to tell you
However, I do not want you to read it
I do not want to bare my soul to you
Oh, to be naked in front of strangers
My transparent skin revealing raw and true emotions
I feel that I have changed
I can no longer settle for the life I am currently living
I will still wait
I will wait for my moment
I will wait for fate to make its devine intervention
I need to write my thoughts.....if only to survive
I need to write my story......if only to have you read

My 5 Senses

So I walk outside with a heavy heart tonight
I'm immediately relieved as the wind whips through my hair
My senses are tickled
I smell heaven as my eyes close and I breathe in softly
I will cherish this small moment in my life
This moment where tiny raindrops fall on my tongue
I taste the sweet earth as I swallow
I breathe in
I breathe out
I listen to the haunted music of the night
as the wind caresses my skin
and I look up to a dark sky
Where are the stars
Playing hide and seek with the moon
Leaves skipping about
Tree branches dancing on the cool breeze
A magic playground
An alluring enchantment blowing through my backyard
I will cherish this small magical moment

Dreamer

I wake
With heavy lids, I open my eyes
Hazy and sleepy my thoughts are awakened
My skin is alive
What am I afraid of?
So many things....
My feet touch the floor
My thoughts touch my heart
I am heavy
Am I alone
Not today, he whispers
I try and smile....I close my eyes
but he won't let me dream anymore
The words are sticky on my tongue
but I will not speak them....I will not feel them
What is life without wanting
What are thoughts without dreaming
You must accept me for who I am.....
Love me for what I am
Respect me for who I want to be
I close my eyes
I see what I want to see
I feel what I want to feel
He walks away....he wants me to be free
Free to dream

Why Blog???

For those of you who know me well, it is not news to you that I am an aspiring writer.For those of you who know me very well- you also know that I have a phobia of anyone reading my actual work.I began blogging on Myspace due to the advice of a publisher and one of my college instructors. She said it may help me with my phobia and that I needed to start small- just the basics. Talk about myself and then add some poetry every now and then. So I did. It's still very hard for me.....but I have received some of the most beloved comments from people that I admire and that inspire me on a daily basis....thank you! As my college years come to an end- I know that my writing career is just around the corner. I am nervous. I am excited. I am humbled. I have been a writer ever since I picked up a pen and it's time that I pursue this. I have started my own blog. Again, something very difficult for me to do- but I did it nonetheless. I will start out small.....This blog will not have any bells and whistles, as I am horrible at those kinds of things. It is rusty right now, but eventually I plan on diving in fully with my writing- raw and exposed for anyone to see. YIKES! I hope you enjoy my writing- I hope it inspires- I hope it brings hope to your heart. Bear with me while my Blog begins....but I hope this leads to something wonderful......and I would love for you to join me on my journey!

A Beautiful July Morning

I am so sick of hot weather
Sticky skin
Dying plants
Scorching sun
But this morning....
I woke up to a new world
I opened the door and a breeze kissed my cheek and whispered hello
How I have longed to feel that breeze
My eyes closed and I breathed in the sweet smell of dew and earth
I sat down and drank my coffee with a smile on my lips
I actually became chilly at one point
Granted I was wearing next to nothing, being morning and all.....but I was chilly nonetheless
The hummingbirds were excited to drink their nectar
And my woodpeckers Woody and Jesse even stopped by to wish me a noisy hello
It was a beautiful morning
The kind of morning a poet bathes in
Soaks up til her fingers become pruny....
Alas, I had to move on with my day
A hot day!
I am excited for autumn
I await my lovely mornings with trepidation
And I will be patient yet again as the conclusion of summer inks its pages once more

Restless

I want to unzip my skin
Walk away from the torment
Sleepless nights
Restless days
I want my ache to melt away
Anger
I want my tears to feed my thirst
For my heart to grow
For it is nothing but an illusion
Blind, but I can see
I touch the fire, but cannot feel
I am tired
My eyes are closed and I resist
I push away the images
I welcome peace and serenity
As angels lift me
I rest in warmth
Weary and wasted
The morning is here
I cannot pretend
I awake
I am restless once more